Hat Pro

"Can't innovate any more, my hat!" 

When the Mac Pro 2013 debuted, Apple's Phil Schiller uttered those now-legendary words in response to critics who thought the company had lost its edge. What followed was a sleek, cylindrical thermal core that redefined what a professional workstation could look like—even if it did have the unfortunate side effect of looking like a trash can. But you know what? That trash can became an icon. A meme. A legend. Now, you can wear that legend on your head.

This isn't just any trucker hat—it's a precision-engineered, thermally-optimized head-cooling apparatus that pays homage to Apple's most polarizing and misunderstood Mac. Where the 2013 Mac Pro channeled heat through its innovative cylindrical thermal core, this hat channels style through its breathable mesh back, keeping your own thermal core from overheating during those long editing sessions or heated debates about whether Apple should've stuck with expandable cheese graters.

The front panel features a 2.5" x 2.5" PVC patch with an embroidered rendering of the 2013 Mac Pro in all its cylindrical glory. The patch itself is flexible, UV-resistant, and weather-resistant—because unlike the actual Mac Pro's thermal throttling under heavy loads, this hat won't give up when things get hot. The elevated polyester foam front panel adds dimensional depth that would make Jony Ive nod approvingly (before he left to design buttons for Ferrari).

Engineered for Comfort (Unlike GPUs in a Sealed Cylinder)

We'll be honest: we're not usually trucker hat people. But this one converted us. The highly elastic and absorbent sweatband features padded taping that took legitimate R&D to perfect (I'm serious, you'd think we were asking the world of our suppliers), because if you're going to commemorate a computer that struggled, the least you can do is make sure the hat actually fits comfortably.

The 5-panel construction uses breathable polyester mesh on the back for maximum airflow (take notes, 2013 Mac Pro), while the moldable visor lets you choose your aesthetic: flat-brim hypebeast or traditional dad-at-a-barbecue. The snapback closure means one size truly fits all—yes, even you with the large head who could never fit into the 2013 Mac Pro's limited upgrade path.